She's JV to your varsity
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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