Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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