You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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