I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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