I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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