I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize