so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
