Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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