the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
