i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
