Umm I'm too high to move.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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