Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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