There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
