I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
