My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
