I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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