ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
