I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Liz is crying about burritos again.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize