sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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