Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
