What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
