So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
