I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Randomize
