I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
