I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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