Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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