You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
