I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize