Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
