Kareoke will never be a sober sport
another moral hangover. fuck.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
