So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
