I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
