kristin has been a bad kristin
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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