hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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