god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
