Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
