Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
