I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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