I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
