Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
