Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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