This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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