YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Someone signed my nipple.
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