Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't deserve a penis
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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