I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
