I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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