wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry about my life...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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