Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
