I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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