member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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