Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize