Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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