New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize