so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
