put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
