good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
