At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
