I hate all girls vehemently.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
