I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
