I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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