there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
