16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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