She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
