operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
