ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
