Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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