I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
