sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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